Resources to help you help others in grief.

I’m working to be helpful in a variety of places. The other Friday night, I offered the following as a series of tweets.

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It’s possible that someone you know lost a loved one this week. It’s possible that you aren’t sure what to say. As a hospital chaplain, I’ve thought about this a little bit.

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In the first hours, if you happen to be with them, you can try I’m sorry. /Nothing: (60 seconds of silence)/ May I take care of that? (and take the tissue out of their hands and give them a fresh one and throw it away and wash your hands)/ This is hard.

10 simple phrases when visiting in the first hours after a death.

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If you want to send them a note, you can say, “I’m not going to ask how you are doing or suggest how tragic this is or offer suggestions for what this means. I’m just letting you know I know this is hard.”

How to write a note to a grieving friend.

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If you want to order a book for me to send on your behalf, I can do that.

This Is Hard book with sympathy card

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When you see in social media that there has been a death, what do we say? Many responses aren’t helpful. How we recovered from a similar loss so they should be fine. Observations on how this should feel. But here’re some suggestions on what to say. https://preview.mailerlite.com/f4w5b6p8t3

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These are suggestions, not rules. You can choose, sometimes, to simply send a text and say, “I heard. I’m sorry.” Thanks for listening. And for caring for your friends.

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The thread was shared enough to remind me that we are each and all facing grief in a variety of ways.