An obituary is a published notice (announcement) of the death and life of a person. For famous people, they are written by the publication. For most of us, they are written by a family member and published by the funeral home. There used to be rules about obituaries, and by “rules” I mean generally accepted … Continue reading How do I write an obituary?
When you receive a hard diagnosis with a likelihood of death, people are glad to tell you what do to. They do it with intense certainty: “Do this treatment. Try this tool. Be courageous. Be strong.” And they do it with the best of intentions and the most anecdotal of data. “This worked for my … Continue reading A working list for life after a difficult diagnosis
It’s often helpful to send a friend or acquaintance a card to recognize their grief. You can buy an expensive sympathy card, but sometimes you can send a simple note acknowledging that you know of their loss. You don’t have to fill the whole space, just like you wouldn’t fill the room with noise. This … Continue reading Sending a note in time of grief.
At our hospital, chaplains are the people with the responsibility and opportunity to ask families what funeral home they will be using for their loved one. It’s a difficult time, shortly after the death. And yet, it’s a helpful question because it gives the family something to do, a clear sense of the most immediate … Continue reading One way to find a funeral home
Dear person I care about who is going into the weekend (even if we have never met)- I sometimes tell people what to do or not do. That usually doesn’t work. Because no mom likes to meet a chaplain in the waiting room, or get a call from a chaplain, I sometimes turn my badge … Continue reading Before you do things that might bring you to the ER.
Finding words in hard times 